Re-introduction
Hi, friends. It’s been a while. I turned 45 in May. Two weeks later, I almost died. That sounds dramatic but it’s truer than I’d like to admit. For the last several months, I’ve been recovering from that trauma and pondering what it means for my life moving forward.
The List
The year I turned 40, I started making a list. I didn’t call it a “bucket list” because it wasn’t all BIG things and I don’t like the idea of death as a deadline or that anything on the list somehow makes my life complete. I just called it the after-40 list and it had on it things like 5k races I wanted to run, health goals I wanted to achieve, places I wanted to visit, experiences I wanted to have. I figured if I put them in writing, I would be more likely not to put them off for “someday.” I was tired of waiting for “someday.” So I determined to not wait anymore.
Then, COVID
I feel like every story these days has a “then, Covid,” interlude. I couldn’t travel. I did focus on my health goals, but mostly I was in survival mode and couldn’t muster the emotional energy to do anything other than get through the day. That’s how I’ve been living for years.
And a health emergency
In May, I started having trouble catching my breath. I was trying to work through a running program and I couldn’t breathe. Five days later, I passed out at home and my oxygen levels dropped into the 80s. In the ER, they discovered a massive pulmonary embolism and other blood clots in my lungs. My blood pressure dropped in the ICU and I almost went into cardiac arrest. I felt myself leaving my body, which sounds weird, I know, but is the only way I can describe. I survived, thanks to outstanding medical care. I’m still here.
So, what now?
My chiropractor, upon hearing my story, told me I’d been given a gift—more time. “What do you want to do with it?” And I decided that I wanted to get back to The After-40 List. But I can’t do drastic things and I don’t want to overwhelm myself to the point that I do nothing. I’m introverted and anxious but up for adventure. So I picked 10 things from the list that I thought I could accomplish (some require more effort than others) in the next year or thereabouts. I’m writing about them as I go, and I hope they’ll become an essay collection, maybe even a book.
I’m calling it “10 Things I Made Myself Do: An Anxious Introvert’s Year of Intentional Experiences.”
It’s not “Eat Pray Love” or “Wild.” It might not change my life in hugely drastic ways. Some of the things on my list might not seem like a big deal, but they’re things I’ve always wanted to do or that I think will help me grow in some area of my life.
Why am I telling you this?
Because I want you to join me on this journey. I completed my first list item this week, and I want to tell you about it. Subscribe so you can stay up to date with this journey. I won’t be sharing much about it on other social platforms, so this is where you’ll get the updates. Some of the updates will be free to everyone who subscribes. Some will be for paid subscribers only. So if you’re so inclined to support my writing financially, you can do that, too.
I look forward to seeing where this takes us!