I’ve always had a bit of an independent streak. At least, that’s my trauma response, probably. I’m the first-born. A latch-key kid of the ‘80s and ‘90s. My parents and I sort of raised each other. If something isn’t getting done, I default to shouldering the responsibility. This does not always serve me well in parenting or marriage. I have learned (slowly) and am still learning to release the need for control and let others share in the responsibilities. My son puts away the dishes most days and even if I don’t like that he throws the reusable containers in the cupboard and slams the door so they don’t fall out, at least he is doing a task I don’t have to do.
I like to be alone. I’m comfortable with my own company. Although as I’ve gotten older and more sure of who I am, I’ve come to value time with other people, even the occasional group. Introverts aren’t anti-social; it’s just that socializing can be draining and sometimes I need energy for other pursuits.
When I first set out to make the list of things I wanted to do after I turned 40, I didn’t necessarily intend to do everything by myself. But after my pulmonary embolism last May, I decided I had to do some things on the list whether other people could join me or not.
I don’t need people to “go with me” when I’m doing something new or for the first time. I don’t know if this is another hidden feature of introvertedness or just part of my independent streak. There are times when if I had to wait for someone else to join me, I might lose my nerve altogether, so I just go ahead and do the thing.
Sometimes, though, having a friend or a partner-in-crime (no actual crimes committed) along for the ride helps.
Most of the items on my 10 Things list I sort of envisioned doing alone. This was for me and crossing these big deal (to me) items off my list was a personal quest. But in discussing one of the items with a friend, she asked, “Do you feel like you have to do it alone to check it off?”
My answer was immediately “no.” And I realized I don’t have to be so rigid.
In the next six weeks, I plan to cross three—THREE!—more items off the list, and they all involve other people helping me out.
And I couldn’t be more excited.
I feel … lucky? Fortunate? Blessed? … to have friends who get excited about my plans and want to be part of them.
I can’t wait to fill you in!
I hope you’ll stick around. It’s been a little bit quiet on the list front, but I’ve been quietly working on plans in the background. And you are part of this journey whether we’ve met in person or not. Thank you for spending some time in my little part of the Internet world.
If you’re new here, check out this recap of where I’m at with the list so far, and poke around on the site to read about these adventures.
And for those of you who’ve been around for awhile, here’s a sneak peek at what’s to come.
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